DEPRESSION PART 3(how to help a depression victim)

1. Validate feelings.

At times, we barely know what to tell people who are depressed. We don’t know where to start but.

Recognize the hardships the person is going through, make them feel understood, make them feel like someone finally gets their situation.
Sometimes, just saying, “Wow, that must be hard,” to a depressed person can bring a little relief for a moment.

Reminding them how strong they have been at times might not work because they might feel like you want them to go on suffering because they are strong.

2. Follow up.
Maybe you have seen someone you know who is depressed be given help. That is not the time to just relax and walk away. A friend is still needed to give encouragement to take that next step in the healing process. Don’t let yourself think you’ve done enough.

3. Just be together.
You don’t need to always say something to someone who is in a state of depression. Sometimes making a point to just be in the same room silently with them can be as good or better than giving advice. A hug or a soft touch can often communicate a feeling of being cared for that words cannot describe

Call them or text them to remind them that they are not alone. Make them feel better about themselves

4. Be encouraging without expectations

An encouraging quote or caring note, an invitation to do something together, or a word of love or appreciation can go a long way when a person is depressed. The person may not have the energy or ability always to respond back to you, but be encouraged….. your encouragement has meaning.

Do not try to fix their situation, listen to the person…make them know that someone can listen to them.

5. Offer to go the extra mile.

Are you willing to do the big things that need to be done in times of crisis for your friend or loved one? Will you go the extra mile? It may be inconvenient and take away from other things, but it may even save a life. They will always know it kept them safe at those dark times.

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DEPRESSION part 2(habits that are making depression worse)

1. Dwelling on Stressful Situations

When you have depression, coping with stressful situations can be extra difficult. That’s what it is for me. But we have to learn to fight back and find a way to manage stress better.

Start to recognize the things or actions that make you feel calmer, actions that’ll help separate you from your thoughts and look for ways on how you can implement those in your way of managing stress. Doing this helps a lot

2.Avoiding Sunlight

As ridiculous as it sounds, when suffering from depression, you barely want to go out, because you feel like you are already in darkness.

You hate seeing any trace of sunlight beaming through your windows because this means that you have to get through yet another painful day. So,you place large and thick curtains to hide from the sun without knowing that this is only doing more harm than good. Being able to see the sunrise or even letting a little sunlight in makes you feel better, as cliché as this may sound but it gives you hope, hope that maybe today will be different.

It may not completely make everything okay but it makes everything feel abit lighter.

3. Avoiding physical activity

When you’re living with depression, even the simplest task, like getting out of bed is a constant challenge. Taking a shower is a chore and staying in bed is always a go-to.
It’s not because you’re lazy or you are just choosing not to, it’s because you literally can’t. But the more you let depression chain you to your bed, the more you’re giving it control over you and the worse you feel.

Try to stand up and do something that makes you feel good. I know it’s difficult and sometimes quite impossible but it’s worth it.

So, start small and set small goals, if you feel like you can still do another thing after completing one task, then add one more task. As long as you’re trying that’s more than enough.

When life gets too overwhelming and when your depression is eating you alive, talking to someone or reaching out for support can be very difficult. I understand how difficult it is to ask for help when even getting out of bed feels like an impossible chore.

But having a support system is exactly what you need during this time.

You have this fear of opening up to someone and asking for their help. You fear that people will either dismiss what you’re feeling or judge you.

But when you start to slowly let people in, you realize that not everyone will judge you. They may not understand what you are feeling but they will be there for you, they will be there to listen.

While changing these bad habits may not completely make depression go and stay away, but it does make it a whole lot easier.

And that might be enough.

So, recognize those habits that are feeding your depression and start by changing them one day at a time. Keep fighting, we can do this!

DEPRESSION part 1.

We live in a world where if you break your leg, everyone runs over to sign your cast. But if you tell people you’re depressed, they all run the other way. We are accepting of any body part breaking down other than the brain. And that is ignorance, which has created a world that doesn’t understand depression, that doesn’t understand about mental health.

“Are you okay?”

The answer will always be, “yeah I’m just tired”

Basically tired of thinking, tired of trying to make people understand what is going on, basically tired of trying, tired of living, tired of feeling like it’s not living it’s just surviving.

T- Torn

I- Insecure

R- Ruined

E- Emotional

D- Depressed

Being depressed is not a sport, it’s not something people enjoy, it’s not fun at all. Many times it’s a cry for help. At times, we ignore the signs given, at times we assume everything is fine till it’s not. “It’s a state of mind” and the mind gets tired, the mind forgets, the mind is part of our bodies.
I often compare depression to the monster-under-the-bed mentality. You never know when it will creep out of its layer, ready to attack and make your life even more difficult….basically, it’s wrapping yourself in your own thoughts and letting them consume you.

Depression can manifest itself in a number of ways: prolonged and pervasive sadness, feelings of worthlessness or self-loathing, changes in appetite,sleep issues, irritability or lack of energy. All of these issues can take a toll on a person and make everyday life hard to manage.

LOYALTY👑

😍😍😍🔥

Chary

we always forget that friendship comes with loyalty. We live in a generation that’s about having more friends than having loyalty. having friends is one thing but having a friend who’s loyal is another.

We need to understand that, in friendship some people aren’t loyal to us they are loyal to their need of you and once their need changes. so does their loyalty.

we forget that people are so narcissistic, we do too much good for their interest but they do almost nothing for our interests, and end up playing the victims to circumstances they created. we should remember that betrayal never comes from our enemies.

At times, it’s hard to take it in, hard to accept that the person you’d take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun.

and when we start walking alone? we are judged because we do not want anything to…

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LOYALTY👑

we always forget that friendship comes with loyalty. We live in a generation that’s about having more friends than having loyalty. having friends is one thing but having a friend who’s loyal is another.

We need to understand that, in friendship some people aren’t loyal to us they are loyal to their need of you and once their need changes. so does their loyalty.

we forget that people are so narcissistic, we do too much good for their interest but they do almost nothing for our interests, and end up playing the victims to circumstances they created. we should remember that betrayal never comes from our enemies.

At times, it’s hard to take it in, hard to accept that the person you’d take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun.

and when we start walking alone? we are judged because we do not want anything to do with people, yet they don’t understand how much we have been stabbed on our backs. this is why most people opt for pets. they are always loyal. they never let us down and we should learn from them. we don’t expect so much from our pets neither do they expect much but their loyalty is not interrogatable.

we should be more concerned with who our friends are behind our backs , than who they are to our faces. loyalty should not depend on our presence.

The victorious battles are fought by ourselves.

Every level of our lives requires a different version of us. And being alone is a stage we all have to go through. Though sometimes we need people to support our every move, we should also learn to believe in ourselves first before making others believe in us.

For instance, many of us rush into relationships and situationships because we fear being single and alone then start making compromises and losing our identities. Do not do That!!!

It’s okay to be alone, people think being alone makes you lonely but the truth is, being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world. Know your worth!!

This is for those who cried themselves to sleep, who cut, who starved themselves, who puked, who felt ugly and the world called them fat and obese, skinny and sick, this for those who were afraid to be alone and for those who died❤

Grief and words you’re not supposed to tell a person who’s grieving.

So, we have all lost someone we loved at a point in our lives. And we have seen people who have lost people and we don’t know what to tell them.

So I’ll be writing about what not to tell a person who’s grieving, As a victim of grief.

We want someone to talk to us from our point of view not from theirs. At that point. We’re learning something different. Like how a baby begins to wean. Is exactly how a person under grief is learning how to cope with new life after their loss.

  • You must be strong now– people need to fully express their grief before they heal. Telling someone to pull themselves together quickly doesn’t help. Sometimes the best thing to do is just be there.
  • Your loved one lived a good long life– gratitude for that long life may come later but at the beginning it’s agony of loss. Give the person a chance to share the memories of their loved ones.
  • Everything happens for a reason– this especially. Ha! When you lose a loved one it’s hard to accept that their death was part of some grand cosmic plan. Skip cliches like these and give the mourner space to find their own answers. If you don’t know what to say the best you can do is listen.
  • I know exactly how you feel– please! You can’t compare losses. It in fact shifts attention from the mourner to you and it can be offending. But it’s okay to say. I love you and you’re not alone.
  • It’s time to put this behind(don’t dwell on this)-this in fact is really cruel. We have to respect a person’s mourning process. And we should learn that grief rises over time. Birthdays, holidays any time. Grief isn’t something you get over it’s something you learn to live with.
  • Let me know if you need anything or call me if you need to talk-however comforting this may sound. Mourners are often in an altered state and they may not want to pick up the phone and burden others. Visits and support are all they need. Some people may find it invasive but it’s appreciated.
  • He/she is in a better place now-when a mourner hears that, they think the better place their loved one could be is there with them so they tend to disagree that they should be elsewhere. Give them time to accept the loss.